PODCAST VERSION: Want to listen?

QUICK SUMMARY: Have you noticed that God does things his own way? He makes little sense to us because of his greater perspective. And he plays a long-game that confuses my immediate and short-term sight. I learned this the hard way early in my pastoral career. I had worked for over ten years at the same church. I spent over half of that time serving with a mentor that means the world to me. He taught me almost everything I know about pastoring. Then God told me it was time to move on. As hard as it was to leave, what came next was far harder. Why? Because nothing came next. I found myself waiting on God. The next assignment did not come on my timetable. I had some temporary ministry opportunities but they did not turn into anything more. While I knew differently, it felt like wasted time. 

To make a long story short, three years and one short-lived attempt later, I was still waiting. God did eventually restore me to pastoral work, twice. But neither place of service turned into what I expected, and both ended poorly. So about ten years later I found myself between churches and waiting again. In that second waiting season I revisited my thoughts from the first wait. I found help that enabled me to do better the second time around. And I found a metaphor that helped me think and talk through those unique and often excruciating times when our only directive from God… is… wait.

How are we to wait when God seems to have put our life on pause? Although it is never really the case, it sure feels like we are on hold. I have learned that how well we wait will dictate things like how long we wait, how miserable we make ourselves while we wait, if we take anything helpful with us when we are moving forward again, and just how close to God we grow during our wait. Waiting well makes all the difference. Everyone will eventually find themselves waiting for God to act.

In this article we will look at one overarching principle, three lessons from the side lines, three ways to make the most of our wait, and finally I will make a few reading recommendations. Read either this short form or the longer one below, or listen to the podcast.

 Overarching Principle:
What God does while you wait is as valuable as what you are waiting for!

Sideline Lesson #1 – When benched, focus on God, not the next task – wait closely.
Sideline Lesson #2 – When benched, focus on the present, not the future – wait currently.
Sideline Lesson #3 – When benched, focus on faith, not comfort – wait courageously.

There are three ways to make it through without losing your mind… or your faith!

When benched, focus on God, not the next Task – Wait Closely.
1. RED – Stop… to make space for God. Make time for him. Run to him, not away. Cling to him to grow relationally.

When benched, focus on the Present, not the Future – Wait Currently.
2. YELLOW – Slowly… look around unhurriedly, take the time to take stock. Think. Feel. Do not try to escape.

When benched, focus on Faith, not Comfort – Wait Courageously.
3. GREEN – Go… and make a temporary home in your new normal. Cooperate. Hold it loosely and be patient.

Interested? Feel free to keep reading!

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

GO DEEPER: (Read the QUICK SUMMARY intro first.) While revisiting my thoughts about waiting on God from a decade earlier did not add any new lessons, it did provide a metaphor that perfectly described what I felt. That second time around I felt like God had taken me out of the game and benched me. I describe being benched by God as when he pauses, ends, or removes something you value and does not explain or replace it! You lose something you prize without warning, reason, justification, or alternative! It is just gone, and you do not know what happened, what you did wrong, or what is next. God gives you postdated (future) marching orders and nothing to do in the meantime. Benching happens when God sits you down and says, “I’ll get back to you.” It is when he takes away something meaningful and all he says is, “trust me!” The change creates a sudden wound, the lack of explanation leaves you silently wondering, and the absence of a replacement forces you to sit and wait. Wounded, wondering and waiting. That is what it is like to be benched by God.

If you have watched a team sporting event you know substitutions are made constantly. I have often wondered if the most underrated calls a coach makes is knowing when to bench a player. The athlete usually dislikes being pulled from the game, protests accordingly, and assumes it is punishment. Yet a good coach knows their players and recognizes fatigue, injury, the need to cool off, or the need for coaching and encouragement. Despite complaints, for the good of the athlete and team, the wise coach calls the player to the sideline. The best coaches are more concerned for the development and safety of the player than they are to win at all cost.

The change creates a sudden wound, the lack of explanation leaves you silently wondering, and the absence of a replacement forces you to sit and wait. Wounded, wondering and waiting. That what it is like to be benched by God.

God As Coach
God does the same thing. When God sees frustration, fatigue, injury, or a need for some coaching, he will bench us. He is the best coach because he always knows what is best for us. Personally, I have never liked it, seldom understood, and often misinterpret it as punishment. At first, when life takes an unexpected and unappreciated turn, I gripe and fuss at God. I obstinately pace the sideline, antsy to get back in the game. I do not want to wait, I wanted to contribute. I want to be in the game where the action is. So, I nagged the coach to put me in. “Put me in coach, I’m ready to play… TODAY!” (Put Me In Coach, by John Fogerty) His response? He kept telling me that I had not learned my lesson yet!

We have all experienced a sudden change or lose that left us wondering what to think, how to feel, what to do? So, what do you do? I answer that pressing question by beginning with a single overarching principle. What God does while you wait is as valuable as what you are waiting for! You may want to read that again and spend a minute thinking about the implications. God is always doing something, even when he has us doing nothing! What follows is three lessons I learned from the sidelines. These three realities support the simple truth that God is always working in us, always growing us, and always pursuing us, even when he sits us down and forces us to wait for him. Yep, even when it feels like we are doing nothing, and nothing is happening around us!

Sideline Lesson #1 – When Benched, Focus on God, Not the Next Task. So Wait Closely.

Waiting should not be task focused, it should be God focused. Wait closely. When God pushes “pause” in your life, he is more interested in moving you closer to him than into your next thing to do. You may want to reread that because it is counterintuitive to most, particularly to those who are output focused, as is most of the American culture. The wait is about God helping us know him more than about preparing us for our next assignment. Of course, those two are not mutually exclusive. Knowing him better is preparation for the next chapter. Unfortunately, until I learned different, I was always focused on the next task. When God’s leading takes you to the sideline, he is leading you into relationship with Him, and relationships take time! 

When God pushes “pause” in your life, he is more interested in moving you closer to him than into your next thing to do.

Butt Slivers Hurt!
Because we are not awake to God and how he works, we often let if not encourage the exact opposite to happen. It is easy to allow the wait to put distance between us and God as we get impatient or frustrated. When we get discouraged, it can lead to despair and, if we are not careful, fear, unbelief and self-pity. If we are unwell enough that our identity is still wrapped up in how we perform and how much we produce, we are going to get a rear full of slivers. We are bound to get a few from all the chafing on that weather-worn seat. An antsy posture on that proverbial bench does more harm than good. Take it from one with a posterior full of splinters!

Here is another thought. When my wait began the second time, the place I would land next did not even exist! The church where I now serve was not yet planted. We are a young church that recently went multisite, but it was not established when I was benched. It was not a dream in anyone’s hearts or a twinkle in a single eye! Maybe God is not in the next task yet because the project is not ready for you… or you for it!  

Let’s hear from a few Biblical writers on the subject:

Lamentations 3:25 The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks him.
Isaiah 30:18 So the Lord must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for his help.
Psalm 59:9 You are my strength; I wait for you to rescue me, for you, O God, are my fortress. 

Active Waiting
God treats those who wait for him very well. Imagine what might come if we waited patiently? But we miss out on growing closer to him, on experiencing his love and compassion, because we stay in the game when he wants us on the bench… or the other way around. So he must wait for us to come to where he. Do not think of this in a general way, but as him waiting for us and any given moment or season, in a specific way. When we are moving his direction, even if it is temporarily away from the battle’s fray, and we wait “there,” wherever “there” is for us at the particular moment in time, is where he is in our lives. We must be there to be where he is. If we go “there” he gives us his strength to wait for his rescue. Yes, you can come to him, be rescued, and wait at the same time. What we put on hold is our grand plans, even his plans for us, if he tells us we need a rest. But as Lamentations say, resting is not inactive if we are actively pursuing him. Seeking him is the one action that trumps all others. Seeking him may be the one allowed action while we are waiting for him!     

Sideline Lesson #2 – When Benched, Focus on the Present, Not the Future. So Wait Currently.

Waiting should not be future focused, it should be present focused. Wait currently. This is hard because without a future focus it feels like we are not going anywhere. Like our life is on hold and “a better tomorrow” will never come. We struggle because we want it to be today. We think we would be happier if the tomorrow we are waiting for were today. If we were already in the next chapter of life. Doing God’s will sometimes appears to be the same as wasting time. I believed that lie – that waiting was wasting – for a good long while. But we are not wasting time when we are obeying God. Obedience is never a waste of time! Besides, our time is really his, so he can do with it what he wishes. Even “waste” it.  

The point is to experience what God is doing and not lament over what he is not doing!

Of course, God ain’t wastin’ nothin’! Every person represents a current work of God. Something he is doing now. “A work in progress” to use and exceedingly trite expression. God is always doing something good in our life whether we are awake to it or not. That requires we concentrate on where we are, not where we are not. It means we must learn to be content with where God has us and not act like we know better, and would be better off, if we were somewhere else, going somewhere, anywhere as long as we are getting something done. Here is Herni J. Nouwen’s take on remaining in the moment…

“Active waiting means that you are present to the moment, fully and totally present in the conviction that something is happening where you are… A waiting person is someone… who believes this moment is the moment… Patience means the willingness to stay where you are and live the moment out to the full – to taste the moment to the full in the conviction that something is hidden there that will manifest itself to you. An impatient person is always expecting the real thing to happen someplace else… We have come to live in a way that we think the real thing is happening over there, always ahead of us, always happening tomorrow. And so, very tragically, we miss what is happening today.”  (The Spiritually of Waiting, by Herni J. Nouwen)

Is it Really the Sidelines?
When sidelined by God, when he pulls us from the game with sickness, pausing our vocational advancement, sending us on a tangential mission, closing all roads forward, and forcing us to stop and wait – God is not in the game anymore! At least not as far as we are concerned. And he is not quite ready for us to start a new chapter either. He is on the bench waiting to coach us. The truth is, what we often feel is the sideline is really the center of God’s action. Waiting is the only place where God is. The only place we can please Him. Doing something would be sin. It would be walking away from him.

The truth is, what we often feel is the sideline is really the center of God’s action.

When God is driving, he will often pull over at a scenic overlook. Future focused disciples, those who are anxious to get somewhere, hate this! Sometimes he takes us for a wildly divergent and completely unexpected ride. Christ-followers fixated on a specific future and their own agenda, hate this. But you will find that God is not very sensitive to our plans and comfort and the littleness of our puny, preplanned, imagination. When God is in the present and not the future, the action is in the immediate and not tomorrow. When God pauses your life, be present, listen, feel, reassess, and connect with God right where you are.

Sideline Lesson #3 – When Benched, Focus on Faith, Not Comfort. So Wait Courageously.

Waiting should not be comfort focused it should be faith focused. Wait courageously. But we want deliverance from the pain of waiting, disruption, confusion, and inconvenience. Not knowing is not comfortable. It certainly does not feel “safe.” But our feelings betray us. This is our faithful, steadfast God we are talking about here. The tighter we cling to a desire for the comfortable, the longer it takes God to move us on!

God is confusing, how could he not be? We are trying to understand the mind of God with the resources of the human intellect. It is never sufficient! It cannot be sufficient. You do not want it to be sufficient! A God we can grasp is no God at all. He made us, not us him. Give up trying to understand what remains elusive. Give up trying to understand the ways of our God whose perspective is so far above our own. Take a different approach. Sit down. Shut up. Wait. Trust. 

Die to your right to know why you are waiting. The silence of God can be painful, but he is speaking about something even when he is silent about the future. We look in the wrong place for the wrong answer and are surprised when we find nothing. God’s prolonged silence leaves us with the blessings of prolonged need, prolonged insufficiency, and prolonged confusion… some of God’s greatest blessings. Why? Because they bring us to him in desperation and trust. It is then that he is free to reveal himself and deliver us. 

Uncomfortable Blessings
Waiting to move from the valley into the vision brings “uncomfortable blessings.” Deliverance from discomfort often conflicts with God’s purpose. You cannot always have both comfort and God. You can always have peace and God, but we cannot always have comfort and God. They are not the same thing. Peace is a clam assurance no matter the circumstance. And we cling to peace with faith. God has not brought you comfort yet? Then the distress is designed to produce faith in him. From that will come calming strength no matter how fierce the storm. Courage in needed. Courage is not the absence of fear, but a slowly developed trust in God that comes from a growing relationship with him. A faith that allows you the ability to laugh in the face of discomfort and the unknown. Courage is the product of hope!

Deliverance from discomfort often conflicts with God’s purpose. You cannot always have both comfort and God.

Psalm 27:13-14 13 [What, what would have become of me] had I not believed that I would see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living! 14 Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord. (Amplified)     

Consider these additional promises:
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.  (NLT)
John 10:10 The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life. (“full till it overflows”) (NLT)
Philippians 1:6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. (NLT)                                                          

 Am I Ready to Wait?
Are you wondering how well you would do if or when God benches you? You can answer that question with a simple test. Just examine how you live when you are not waiting. Do you normally live closely to God? In constant communion with him? Or are you more task orientated rather than relationship focused? If so, you will wait that way. Do you normally live currently, in the present? Or are you always striving to get somewhere else, to make it big, to get big things done, to reach that elusive prize? If so, you will wait that way. Do you normally live courageously? Bravely trusting that God has things under his sovereign control? Or are you a worrier, fretting and stewing, pursuing comfort and full of fear over how things will turn out? If so, you will wait that way.

If self-examination finds that you are not prepared to wait, be prepared to wait! Your normal everyday focus must be on God, what he is doing now, and faith at any cost. When you are forced to wait, it is the wrong time to learn how!

So, what God does while you wait is as valuable as the future he brings you into. Now what? Since I am found of transportation related metaphors, let’s employ one here to outline your way forward. When God pauses your life by putting you on that cold, hard bench, think about the three colors and of a traffic light.

When benched, focus on God, not the next Task – Wait Closely.
1. RED – Stop… to make space for God. Make time for him. Run to him, not away. Cling to him to grow relationally.

When benched, focus on the Present, not the Future – Wait Currently.
2. YELLOW – Slowly… look around unhurriedly, take the time to take stock. Think. Feel. Do not try to escape.

When benched, focus on Faith, not Comfort – Wait Courageously.
3. GREEN – Go… and make a temporary home in your new normal. Cooperate. Hold it loosely and be patient.

It can be just that simple. Stop all the doing, turn in God’s direction, slow down and take a look around at what he is trying to say, show, teach, heal, correct, what have you been missing, who you have overlooked, and go ahead and get comfortable in your temporary new normal. He may just leave you there till you do!

(This article is based on notes from two talks that I gave ten years apart, each one coming after 3 years of waiting, that was merged into one article in November of 2018)

Want More?

The Fire of Delayed Answers, by Bob Sorge – New at Amazon for $17

The Fire of Delayed Answers, by Bob Sorge – New or Used at AbeBooks 

Waiting on God, by Andrew Murray – New at Amazon for $4.27 (Kindle $.99)

The Spirituality of Waiting, Henri J. Nouwen – A short and free PDF

The Spirituality of Waiting, Henri J. Nouwen – 124 minute MP3 for $15.95