There was a point in my life, in my mid-twenties, when I wondered if Christianity was a big farse. Usually, I rejected that and concluded that it was more likely that it just wouldn’t work for me. I was the pastor and I had no answers for the people who came to the pastor for answers! At that point, I figured there was something else wrong with me, that I was screwing something else up in my life, that I was unlovable so God wouldn’t answer, or just too stupid to figure out how to get God to help me.
Then God sent me a mentor who taught me how to get to the real heart issues that lay underneath the surface symptoms that were ruining my life. Anger, hatred, bitterness, loss, rejection, abandonment, loneliness, fatherlessness, verbal abuse, physical abuse, confusion, lies… The root problems were all mixed up with the fruit problems! The dash lights (gauges) were mixed up with the issues under the hood. I couldn’t untangle the mess, that was for dang sure.
Unfortunately, it turned out that I’d wasted a whole lot of energy and time only treating the symptoms and never making it to the “disease” that was uncontained and spreading in my heart. If I had only known sooner I could’ve gotten well much sooner and hurt a lot fewer people (including myself) along the way. I also discovered a great many lies I had believed about God, myself, and a lot of other things. My feelings and conclusion had become truth to me when in truth much of what I felt and believed was not true at all! Yes, it was that convoluted!
Below I tell the story in some detail and how it now motivates and defines my current mission with God. He knew all along what he was preparing me for. Now I’m committed to following God’s lead and that lead has me helping other people figure out how to receive the forgiveness, healing, freedom, and victory that Jesus gave his life to share with all who ask!